onlinecounsellingcollege:

What are the signs that could indicate that it’s time to move on from a relationship?

1. When you live more in past memories than the present time: Do you feel as if you have to replay old memories as there’s nothing in the present – and it all feels kind of empty? Relationships exist in this moment in time, and if you feel you’ve lost that fire then your feelings might have changed.

2. When the relationship brings heartache instead of peace and joy:Sometimes we are blinded by the good or intense moments – as they act as a distraction from unhappy memories. But if the truth is your partner often hurts or disappoints you – then don’t be deceived – things are not as they should be!

3. When your partner’s always pushing you to change: The most genuine form of love is love that’s unconditional. If your partner has an issue with some aspect of your life – your weight, your personality or how you like to dress – then you’re not really free to be the person that you are. Also, requests can sometimes mount and then become more like control.

4. When you hang in there, hoping he or she will change: The point above applies to you as well as them. If you’re constantly hoping that your partner will change then you’ll always be working on something else to change … And in the end, they’ll be a shadow of you – and not themselves.

5. When you keep justifying their behaviour to yourself: If there’s something about them that really bothers you, and you get into the habit of explaining it away, then that points to a conflict over how things really are. It is better to admit it – and maybe walk away.

6. When the relationship is abusive: An abusive relationship is never OK. You deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. End of story!

7. When he or she puts little effort into the relationship: It takes two to have a meaningful, and great, relationship. If you’re putting in more effort thenthey might not be committed – and it’s likely the imbalance will increase over time.

8. When your fundamental values and beliefs are different: Shared values are the rock on which relationships are built. If your values are different there will always be a tension … and when the storms of life hit then your relationship will shatter.

9. When the relationship stops you from growing as a person: A real relationship is one that enables you to grow, so you become the unique person you were truly meant to be. However, if you feel you’re being smothered, or you’re dying inside, then it could be this relationship is cramping your style.

10. When neither of you feel the same way any more: People change; life happens; and feelings dissipate. Be glad for what you had – then face the truth – and separate.

onlinecounsellingcollege:

Research indicates that both sexes will cheat – but their reasons for doing so are not the same. In summary:

Men cheat because:

·         They want more sex or more variety in their sex life

·         An opportunity presents itself

·         They are curious about having sex with a particular person

·         They need to prove there are still attractive and desirable

·         They want to feel important, special or powerful

·         Of peer pressure.

Women cheat because:

·         They have an unmet need for emotional closeness or intimacy

·         They are unhappy with their partner or relationship

·         They are looking for male attention

·         They want to feel attractive, desirable and special as a woman

·         They want to re-capture the feelings of passion and romance

·         They feel bored, lonely, neglected or taken for granted.

kistykreme:

There’s a reason why this photo was entitled as Heartbreak Hotel because I took this photo inside a hotel and I’m heartbroken because I’m telling you my “secrets” in photography, lol. :p Anyway, this less complex than the other tutorial (you should totally check that tutorial out if you haven’t) because it only requires two things: a camera and a model.

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xxzulaxx:

What’s the best strategy for taking a multiple-choice test?
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The standard advice for multiple-choice tests is: if in doubt, stick with your first answer.

College students believe it: about 75% agree that changing your first choice will lower your score overall (Kruger et al., 2005). Instructors believe it as well: in one study 55% believed it would lower students’ scores while only 16% believed it would improve them.

And yet this is wrong.

One survey of 33 different studies conducted over 70 years found that, on average, people who change their answers do better than those who don’t (Benjamin et al., 1984). In none of these studies did people get a lower score because they changed their minds.

Study after study shows that when you change your answer in a multiple-choice test, you are more likely to be changing it from wrong to right than right to wrong. So actually sticking with your first answer is, on average, the wrong strategy.

Why do so many people (including many who should know better, like the authors of test-preparation guides) still say that you should stick with your first answer? Kruger et al. (2005) argue that it’s partly because it feels more painful to get an answer wrong because you changed it than wrong because you didn’t change it.

So we tend to remember much more clearly the times when we changed from right to wrong. And so when taking a test we anticipate the regret we will feel and convince ourselves that our first instinct is probably right (when it’s probably not).

Image credit: Alberto G

howfreeitis:

Eros
a passionate physical and emotional love based on aesthetic enjoyment; stereotype of romantic love

Ludus
a love that is played as a game or sport; conquest; may have multiple partners at once

Storge
an affectionate love that slowly develops from friendship, based on similarity

Pragma 
love that is driven by the head, not the heart

Mania
obsessive love; experience great emotional highs and lows; very possessive and often jealous lovers

Agape
selfless altruistic love; spiritual;

psych-facts:

Birth Order

·         First theorist to consider siblings as an early influence on personality development

·         Adler considered birth-order a heuristic to better understand people – it shouldn’t be taken as fact

Birth Order: Only Child

·         More likely than others to be pampered

·         Parents of the only child are more likely to take special care –sometimes-filled care – of their first born

·         If the parents are abusive or neglectful, on the other hand, the only child will have to bear the abuse alone

Birth Order: First Born

·         Begins life as an only child and focus of all family attention

·         Second child arrives and “dethrones” the first born, forcing a battle for their lost position

·         Some become disobedient and rebellious, others sullen and withdrawn

·         Often precocious

·         Tend to be relatively solitary and more conservation than siblings

Birth order: Second Born

·         Often opposite of the first born

·         Competitive, constantly trying to surpass the older child

·         They often succeed, but many feel as if the race is never done

·         Other “middle” children will tend to be similar to the second child, although each may focus on a different “competitor”

Birth Order: Middle Child

·         Often feels squeezed out, overlooked

·         Plays the role of mediator, peacemaker in family conflict

·         Generally have a high need for superiority

·         When third of four children, often aligns with first born

Birth Order: Youngest

·         Likely to be the most pampered in a family with other children

·         Never dethroned

·         Youngest may feel incredible inferiority, with everyone older and therefore superior

·         But may also feel driven to surpass all of their older siblings

psychology2010:

Child Rearing Styles and Development 

Click on image to enlarge 

In addition to unwarranted direct control, authoritarian parents also use psychological control—behaviours that intrude on and manipulate children’s verbal expressions, individuality, and attachments to parents.

(1) When dissatisfied, these parents withdraw love.

(2) They hold excessively high expectations for their child.

(3) Children subjected to this parenting style exhibit adjustment problems involving both anxious, withdrawn and defiant, aggressive behaviours.

psychology2010:

Strategies to help children adjust to parent’s divorce

Click image to enlarge

psychology2010:

The 4 Child Rearing Styles 

Which parenting style are you? or will you be when have kids? 

Click image to enlarge.